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Oct 30, 2021

In an emotional phone call, a friend shared the recent criticism while struggling to care for her husband. Already reeling from significant heartache resulting from her husband’s condition, the scolding rocked her. 

“You should’ve done _______.

All too many spectators of caregivers often feel empowered to offer “advice” to those shouldering the challenges of caregiving. Sometimes non-caregivers bypass advice and go straight to criticizing. I suppose it saves time.

As a rule, the best opinions to heed usually come from those possessing training and education relating to the impairment of your loved one. Thirty-five years as a caregiver has taught me an additional rule:  the best counsel regarding your journey as a caregiver often comes from those with credible experience. 

There remains no shortage of opinions from those not doing the work. Those criticisms, if allowed, can wound the soul of a caregiver struggling to do her best.

When tempted to allow critics to assess your value as a caregiver by job performance, be fair and look at your attendance record. You keep showing up to care. Critics only show up to judge.


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