Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
This is the program for you as a family caregiver.
How you doing?
How you holding up?
What's going on with you?
Those and more are the type of questions that we ask ourselves as family caregivers that I ask you.
I want you to ask me, how are we doing?
How are we holding up?
And you can see more about why I do what I do here, how we do it, who we're doing it for all at HopeForTheCaregiver.com.
I want to continue our conversation that we were having last week about the 1-2-30
Last week we just spent time on help.
Today, we're going to finish the phrase which is help me, me, money and endurance.
We're going to talk about that just to review for those of you who maybe missed it last time.
Under your health, get an annual flu shot.
Some people don't.
Want to take a flu shot?
Some people medically don't feel they can do that, but I still recommend it.
That's kind of a guide.
But the whole point of this is not religion.
I'm not setting up some type of institution that you got to, this is what we got to do.
You know, I was driving to Bozeman the other day.
We had an early snowstorm.
We got about 80 inches of snow and it was pretty cold too.
It was about 15 degrees when I was driving over there.
When you get a lot of steam coming off of the
river as you go through, and it gets very foggy to drive through
the canyon that I have to go through to get there.
Between the steam and the fog and the
snow-covered road, sometimes it's hard to know where the road
And that's why I'm grateful they have those reflectors so close.
And sometimes they're double tiered because of the amount of snow we get.
And it just helps me know where the road is.
And so that's all this is, just a reminder of where's the road?
Where's the path?
We don't have to put ourselves under any kind of bondage to follow this.
We just come up with tools that may help
So, for your health, one annual flu shot, two
well visits a year, and 30 minutes daily of physical
okay, and if you can't get a flu shot or you
don't want to get a flu shot, please don't get all bent out of
shape about that this is just a suggestion, and two well visits a
year well, why wait a whole year to find out at your annual
physical that you have high blood pressure or your sugar is real
high or you know yada yada yada 30 minutes a day of something
physical do something physical
And for your emotions, how about a counseling visit?
You know, once a month, just once a month to spend time with a counselor, a trained mental health professional, two support groups over the course of a month.
They're not going to fix the problem.
That's not what they're there for.
They're there to better equip you to deal with the challenge you deal with.
And most of the challenges we deal with, we will find are internal.
It's how we respond to the things outside us that we don't like, which creates a lot of stress for us.
So we better learn how to take things in stride and carry things and be flexible and be at peace with the ambiguity and all those kinds of things.
Well, those are things that you can get from being around others, struggling with the same stuff, getting some help from a trained professional, and then spend 30 days a year in church.
We as caregivers can't always go every Sunday, but we can aim for it.
Well, it's important that we have community around us, that we're hearing the gospel being preached to us and make sure it's a church that is grounded in biblical authority in the scriptures, not, you know, some type of, um,
motivational speaker with a religious flair.
Let's try to avoid that.
Those are not helpful things.
But let's go to a place where they better equip you with the studies of the scriptures to have a deeper walk with the Lord.
And in knowledge, we should all be theologians showing up at church, the study of God,
Not religion, which is the study of man's approach to God.
Let's go with theology.
Let's pursue God.
We can know God.
He's given us his word to be able to do so.
And let's do that in a community of believers for several reasons.
One of them, it's going to strengthen us for the journey.
But the other thing is, more importantly, scripture commands us to do it.
Forsake not the assembly.
Scripture states so.
Those are things that one to thirty for your
emotions So, you know counseling visit once a month again, don't
put yourself under bondage to adhere to that Just consider that as
a goal and it may be just for a season that you do this to support
groups a month and you could do them virtually if you need to
and 30 days in church per year for your emotions and then for your lifestyle, something for yourself every week.
Do something, one thing.
Have a vacation from being a caregiver.
Again, we may not be able to do that at one time, but that's a day and a half a month.
And you may have to split that out by hours.
So if you've got a day and a half, a month, so that's 30 hours a month that you could take one hour a day to take a break from being a caregiver, roughly.
I mean, you see how you do the math.
Don't again, don't put this as some kind of unrealistic burden on yourself.
Just make this a goal.
You know what?
I'm going to take, I'm going to take a little bit of time off from this.
You can, anybody can find 30 minutes somewhere.
And then as part of that lifestyle, listen to 30 minutes a day of something funny.
Get laughter back in your life.
I know your circumstances are dire.
So are ours, but we laugh and it's important to laugh.
Ecclesiastes says there's a time to weep and a time to laugh.
We have plenty of time to weep as caregivers.
Do we laugh?
Okay, it's really important that we do this.
And then the P of help is for our profession.
And I recommend this.
I do it for myself.
One training class per year to learn a new skill.
And I don't care what it is.
You may learn Excel spreadsheets on your computer.
You may learn how to garden.
You may learn how to cook better.
There's all kinds of cooking classes.
You know, Graham Care, who's been on this program, The Galloping Gourmet, just a wonderful man.
He's got a whole series of things on Amazon and other places that you can go and learn how to cook better.
from him on heart healthy stuff you can do and it's really good stuff.
I mean he's been out there a long time.
But, you know, you can go out there and get that if you want to learn how to cook better, which I recommend doing because, you know, who doesn't want to be a better cook?
Cooking can be a chore for us as caregivers.
I understand that.
But still, I like to prepare and I like to get in there and try new things.
I'm fairly adventurous in the kitchen and I make a great venison taco.
I've tried, I've had elk
Stroganoff and elk spaghetti sauce and I try all kinds of different things.
You never know.
I mean, do you know how to cook game?
Do you know how to cook this?
Do you know how to make a good roast?
Do you know how to, you know, do things that will bring a lot of flavor to your life, but learn something.
I took a class last year at Hillsdale College on C.S.
Lewis and Christianity.
30-part class, free.
It's just lectures and I listen to it and you take a little test.
I passed it, got a certificate.
So, you know, there's always something you can learn.
As an employee, in your profession, you can always improve yourself with some kind of training.
And then, two performance meetings a year with your supervisor.
Why wait for an annual one to find out there may be a problem?
Have two, just to make sure that there's good communication.
And then, as part of that, by the way, give a good day's work.
Be forthright with your boss.
Let them know what's going on with you.
You don't have to give all the details, but let them know what's going on.
And then ask for and give flexibility to the best of your abilities.
And then 30 minutes a day away from your desk or phone during office hours.
One training class, two performance meetings, 30 minutes daily.
So those are just some tips that I came up with.
I don't normally give tips, but it's something I do for me.
He will be strong to deliver me safe and the joy of the Lord
Welcome back to Home for the Caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
This is the program for you as a family caregiver.
That is my wife, Gracie, with Russ Taff, off of her CD, Resilient.
By the way, if you want to get a copy of that CD, the easiest way to do it is go out to, I should call this number, 615-297-7000.
5388 at Logos Bookstore.
And Gracie's fussing at me because I haven't loaded that on so that you can download it from iTunes and everything else.
You can do individual songs, but you know, you can go out there to iTunes and Amazon Prime and all that kind of stuff.
You can do it, but I haven't done it.
I've had a few other things going on in my life so I'm working on it and I'm trying to build a page.
You can see some of it right now.
See what you think at PeterRosenberger.com with all my product pages and so forth.
So feel free to take a look and see what you think.
We're trying to update a lot of things.
and it's Peter Rosenberger, R-O-S-E-N-B-E-R-G-E-R.com.
It's a new page I'm doing.
I'm going to link to it from the Hope for the Caregiver page, but I'm just trying some things and we're working fast and furious on that.
So anyway, all right, let's get back to the Help Me 1230 program that I came up with.
And on this,
We address the me, M, me, help me.
The M is for money.
So how do you deal with your money as a caregiver?
What do you do with one, two, thirty?
Well, here's something I came up with.
Again, you don't have to do this.
It's something that helps me.
I come up with one charity to financially support.
One charity has nothing to do with being a caregiver, has nothing to do with all the other things I deal with.
It's me putting something towards helping someone else financially.
You don't have to spend a lot.
You can do $5 a year, but do something that focuses on supporting something other than your own world.
Get outside yourself a little bit.
Find a worthwhile cause.
Could be anything.
I mean, there's so many different worthwhile causes.
I would recommend, by the way, if you listen to this program regularly, support American Family Radio.
Just go online at AFR.net and support them.
You're getting something out of this.
Are you giving something back to them?
Okay, you're, you're, you're benefiting from this and they are working hard.
I've been in, I've got to know these folks pretty well over the years that I've been on the air with them.
And these people work pretty hard to, to stay focused on bringing a clear message of the gospel through geopolitical events, through teachings, through all kinds of things that they do.
So support them.
If everybody in this audience
that benefits from what I'm saying and doing here went out to AFR and just pledged, I don't know, ten bucks a month.
You know, that would be a huge thing for them.
This is a big audience.
Whatever it is that the Lord lays on your heart, but do something that is supporting something else.
Push yourself to support, to give.
So that's something we can do.
It gets our mind off of our misery and lets us know that we are doing something that has greater value.
One charity that you could support and get involved with it.
Two meetings per year with some type of financial advisor or an accountant.
Just to go over everything to make sure it's solid.
Are your taxes being paid?
I was talking to a caregiver the other day who's way behind on filing income tax.
I don't know that he has to pay that much, but you have to file them.
Death in taxes.
I mean, that's just render under Caesar and Caesar's very demanding.
So let's stay on top of that.
Let's don't get behind.
You don't need to add that kind of pressure.
For those of you who are professionally in that world, financial reps and accountants and so forth, if you are looking to help someone that's a caregiver, call your pastor and say, look, I'd love to sit down with any caregiver here.
I'm not trying to germ up business.
I'm going to do this just to be able to help.
and sit down with them and make sure that they're okay financially, that they have some kind of plan.
Don't sell them anything.
You're not trying to make a living off of these people.
You're just wanting to help.
It would be a huge help, and I bet you your pastor would know somebody in the church who could benefit from that.
just to sit down, have a conversation, make sure everything's up to date.
You know, it may be a situation where you'll have to charge them something down the road, but I'm not trying to create leads for you for your business.
I'm just saying, this is how you help a caregiver.
If a caregiver looks tired, I bet you their wallets look tired too.
Their purses look tired too.
So sit down as a caregiver with somebody who is a trained financial expert in their field.
is a must.
It's really important that we be smart financially.
And if we don't know how to do something, there are plenty of people that do.
So seek out good financial counsel.
Make sure that all of your filings are done on time.
Make sure that you're properly deducting stuff.
Did you know you could deduct all kinds of things that are caregiver related?
back and forth to the pharmacy or back and forth to doctor's offices and things such as that.
Ask about that sort of thing.
Maybe it's possible for you.
Just get some, get some good eyes, trained eyeballs on you, just like we're doing with doctors, just like we're doing with counselors.
Now we're dealing with our money and it's money's tight.
I know that.
But as I've often said, it's not a lack of resources.
It's often a lack of resourcefulness.
And it's very important.
Today is a great day to start making healthy financial decisions.
Don't beat yourself up over what you did last week.
Man, I have made so many financial blunders, but I don't have to do it again today.
I can learn from that and I can seek out counsel from people who are better trained and wiser and smarter at this sort of thing.
and they can give me good counsel.
And if they won't spend the time to help you, shake the dust off your feet and go to another one.
You know, there's people out there that will help if you ask for help.
They'll help you.
But be very specific and intentional of what you're dealing with.
What is the pressing issue?
So the best way to start sometimes is, okay, are all of your filings up to date?
All of your tax returns, all that kind of stuff.
If it's up to date,
We're in good shape.
Let's go to the next issue.
You know, the next issue, the next issue, just chip away at this.
You didn't get here overnight.
You're not going to get out of it overnight.
And you say, well, Peter, I don't have any money.
So it doesn't really matter.
Everybody's got something.
If you're completely destitute, that's a different conversation.
But I don't think that you are at this point.
So let's start making good financially healthy decisions right now.
And then the 30.
So we've got one charity that you can support.
Think about somebody else's challenges other than your own.
Two meetings per year with a financial advisor or an accountant of some type that can go through your stuff and, and help you develop a solid plan.
Remember I had, um, the gown here.
A while back, his name is Hans Scheele.
Finishing Well is his podcast.
You can go out, he has an amazing library of podcasts you can go out and listen to for free.
And Hans said something great on this program.
He said, don't avoid calling me just because you don't think I can afford it.
Let me make that decision.
Okay, so I thought that's an open invitation.
You can reach out to him at his website and let him talk to you about it and see what may be available.
You don't have to start with, you know, $100,000.
You can start with $1.
Okay, that's the goal is for you to start.
So don't be embarrassed, don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.
Just step out in boldness and say, I am going to start making better financial decisions today and I'm going to seek the help of somebody who can help me do it.
Commit to that.
and then 30.
Now what is 30?
What are we going to do?
1, 2, and 30.
Remember everything is 1, 2, and 30.
So what are we going to do with 30?
Well, here's what I suggest.
Try squirreling away $30 from every paycheck into some type of savings or investment.
Try squirreling it away.
You may not be able to right now.
Some of us, you know, I know what it's like to live paycheck to paycheck.
I know what it's like to live
You know, under paycheck to paycheck that you're like, okay, well, I'm only going to go into debt this much this month.
You know, I've been there.
I mean, Gracie's cost is fortune.
I mean, it's the numbers are staggering for what Gracie's journey has cost.
And then you have lost labor cost that they don't even figure that in of what I could be making.
with, you know, without these types of encumbrances that we have on us.
But here we are.
So shoot for 30.
You may be able to do, you know, 300.
You may be able to do 3,000.
Some of you may be able to do 30,000 a month.
I don't know, but the point is you're doing something that you're socking it away.
You're putting into some type of savings or investment that's going to help you.
And that's where trained financial advisors can help you.
It may be that you're starting off really small, but the discipline of doing that is going to be a game changer.
And speaking of discipline, tithe, that's also going to force you into a discipline financially.
And this is what scripture commands of us.
So tithe and watch God work.
I mean, God says in the scripture, test me in this, watch him work, but say, Lord, I'm going to be responsible for my finances.
And I am going to tithe to where I'm being spiritually fed in my church.
And I'm going to support my church.
And if you're making a hundred dollars a week,
You tithe $10.
Yes, that's going to be tough.
There are people that can give all kinds of great big gifts to church.
That's not what Jesus is looking for here.
Do you remember the story of the widow and two mites?
Because she's giving all she has to give.
God is not limited, nor does He require you to support Him.
He's not limited to your support.
He's not requiring your support in the sense that He's got to have it.
It's a discipline for us to be able to say in faith, we're going to rely on God to supply all our needs according to his riches and glory through Christ Jesus.
It's going to push us.
It's going to be tough and we're going to have to make hard decisions, but that's just part of being a caregiver.
We make hard decisions all the time, but now we're going to make healthy decisions.
They may be hard, but they're healthy.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
We'll be right back.
We're going to wrap up with our Help Me 1230 program that I developed for myself of just things to remember for me.
And the last one is E, help me, M-E, endurance, E for endurance.
How do we, how do we endure?
How do we stay focused on this?
One daily outside contact
with positive and loving friends.
Find a friend somewhere that you can call.
Phone a friend.
Just call them up and listen to someone who is speaking life into your life, who's a positive person, who loves you, cares for you.
Reach out to them.
I don't care if it's just to talk about the weather.
I don't care if it's to tell the joke of the day.
Just find somebody outside of your home and your caregiving world that you can call.
Okay, that's one.
The two, everything is 1-2-30, two hours per week of just me time.
You can find two hours.
Don't tell me you can't, because you can.
I'm going to pull rank on you.
Not many of you all have been a caregiver for as long as I have, or through what I've been through, and I can find it.
So if I can find it, you can find it.
You may have to be creative, may not be able to do it all at once, but find two hours somewhere.
just for you.
Where I live here in Montana, I get out on a horse.
Okay, some of you may not be able to do that, particularly if you live in urban environments, but that's what I do for me.
In the wintertime, it's a snowmobile, sometimes just for a walk.
I said one of the other things to find something 30 minutes that you could watch that's funny every day, just something, maybe just combine a couple of these things, but make it for you.
Spend time practicing.
When I sit down at the piano and practice, I'm not just trying to learn how to play better, I am communicating from the depths of my soul.
That's how I do it musically.
Some of you paint, some of you garden, some of you
Some of you like to needlepoint.
Some of you like to, you know, create all kinds of things, whether it's knitting and who knows, whatever.
I don't care.
It doesn't matter.
Just find something that's for you and do that for two hours every week.
And then take 30 minutes a day and you can find this to be still, to have some kind of devotional time, to be quiet, just to be still.
If you do not take time for stillness, you will make time for illness, but learn to be still.
Look through all the scripture.
How many times you hear the Lord say through scripture, be still, y'all be quiet, simmer down now, be still.
Learn to be still.
30 minutes a day.
It's a discipline.
You may not get it the first time you go first 10 times you go, but you can try to work towards that.
of Learning to Be Still.
Quieten your thoughts.
Our Help Me program.
And that's just something I came up with to give a guideline to myself and to fellow caregivers.
Please, again, do not feel like you've got to somehow adhere to this.
as far as with some type of rigidity, but just use it as a way of keeping you back on the main road.
We can get lost in the weeds so easily.
So, 1-2-30, and I'm going to leave you with a bonus 1-2-30, okay?
A bonus 1-2-30.
You're not having to pay any extra for this, all right?
There are times when we just
Money, Endurance, And Caregivers
If you don't see nail prints, then this ain't yours to fix.
You are responsible for your own actions and what comes out of your mouth, your thoughts, words, and deeds.
One day our Savior's plan is going to be clear and all of this will be made right for those who trust in Him.
And that's where our faith comes in.
And I cling to that promise.
God will wipe all the tears from their eyes and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow nor crying.
Neither shall there be any more pain for the former things are passed away.
It's a book of revelations.
We have a Savior.
That's why I love Keith Green's hymn, There is a Redeemer, Jesus, God's own Son.
I just love that hymn.
I love that hymn.
There is a Redeemer.
There is a Savior.
And we're not that Redeemer or Savior.
Okay, so you have one Savior.
And then two, remember everything is 1, 2, 30.
And then two hymns.
Now for me, these are the two hymns that I remember that come to me in moments when it's just overpowering.
And most of us feel overwhelmed, overpowered, and outmatched on a good day.
On a bad day, we're just feeling completely engulfed.
But in those moments,
There are great hymns of the faith of people who have been there before us, who live to write about it, who live to sing about it, some who even live to laugh about it.
But in this particular case, this hymn, and you all know this hymn, It Is Well With My Soul.
When sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say, it is well with my soul.
How many of you all know that hymn?
It is one of the most widely recognized hymns in the entire world.
I remember in a clinic in Ghana where we're treating amputees and the waiting room was filled with amputees.
If you've ever been in a room filled with amputees, it is extraordinary.
And there must have been 30, 45 people there.
All these different amputees, women, men, children, and we're putting legs on them.
This is what we do at Standing With Hope, standingwithhope.com if you want to go see more about that.
And they're all singing, It Is Well With My Soul.
Now, let me tell you something.
If you hear a room full of amputees singing with their whole being, It Is Well With My Soul, that is an extraordinary and memorable event.
And if they can do it, you can too.
So remember that.
The second one I remember is Great is Thy Faithfulness.
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me.
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed thy hand hath provided.
Can you hang on to those two hymns?
It is well and great is thy faithfulness.
There may be others that you want to do.
Huge repository of hymns out there that we just all but ignore in our modern day church.
I would recommend we not ignore them.
But you go back and look at them.
But those two are pretty familiar.
Hang on to those.
And then 30 words.
You think you memorized these 30 words?
I bet you already have.
Listen to these 30 words that have sustained billions.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
You've already memorized those 30 words.
Many of you are saying it with me.
Say it again.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
One Savior, two hymns, thirty words.
One is just piling on you.
You may not be able to remember anything else, but you can remember that you have a Savior.
You can remember that your loved one has a Savior, and you ain't that Savior.
You can remember to look down at your hands
And when you don't see nail prints, you can remember that you're not that savior, that this is way above your ability to fix, and you can trust him.
You can remember two hymns that sustain you in moments when clarity and your ability to even think is just out the window.
And you can say, when sorrows like sea billows roll whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say it as well with my soul.
If Horatio Spafford can pin that over the watery graves of his children and say that with conviction, and the world sings that, and if a room full of amputees waiting on a prosthetic leg in Ghana, West Africa can say that, so can you and I. And then 30 words.
I've given you the best I got of this today, and I'll put this out on the podcast and you can go ahead and reference it again, but I thought it might be helpful to you today to listen to some of these things to guide you back on the main road.