Mar 24, 2024
Winston Churchill stated, "We are masters of unsaid words and slaves to those we let slip out."
As caregivers, we live in a pressure cooker - and often spout off things we wish we could reclaim. Sometimes, we have to bite our tongues and learn to like the taste of blood. In this opening monologue from the program, I discuss this issue that affects everyone - it is the human condition - but we, as caregivers, can be exceptionally prone to this.
TRANSCRIPT (there may be typos)
Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver here on American Family Radio.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
This is the program for you as a family caregiver.
Healthy caregivers make better caregivers and this program is designed to help the family caregiver stay strong and healthy while taking care of someone who is not.
If that describes you, well guess what?
You're in the right place.
Hope for the Caregiver.com
For me, that's a big deal for me.
I mean, you know, it's not Joe Rogan or anything, but for me, I was really quite stunned because years ago when I started doing this program, people looked at me and said, how in the world are you going to talk about caregivers for an hour?
How are you going to do this for an hour?
I was literally asked that by friends of mine.
I mean, people who were very successful in what they do, and they said, this is not going to work.
And then, I told you, the radio station that I've originally talked to, they said, we don't see this as being a viable program.
Well, here we are.
And by the way, that was in 2011.
Here we are 13 years later, 800-something episodes, almost 250,000 downloads, and we're just getting warmed up because this issue is not going to go away.
If You Love Somebody, You Will Most Likely Be a Caregiver.
If You Live Long Enough, You Will Need One.
It is the human condition.
I was watching on social media the other day, somebody posted a thing, said, what is something you really need as a caregiver?
You know, it was really kind of emotional and I appreciate that.
That's good.
And I was like, I just need somebody to tell me where my grocery list is.
Where are my keys?
Where's my wallet?
You know,
I appreciate people getting very sensitive about it you know and we all get emotional we all get frustrated all that kind of stuff but I mean I don't need to sit down and watch the Hallmark Channel and kind of cry it out you know I'm just not there maybe you are I'm not I'm approaching the end of four decades of this you know and as I as 39 years ago in May I went through my first surgery with Gracie
So I've been doing this for a long time and there's a point where this is your life and you don't really spend a lot of time trying to emote about it.
It is what it is.
Let's move on.
What can we do?
What can we accomplish?
And how can I get better through this?
How can I become better?
What can I become through this?
Not how do I get out of it?
What can I become through this?
How Can I Go Deeper?
And that brings me to today's caregiver quote.
Our caregiver quote comes from the very quotable Winston Churchill.
You all know I'm a fan.
Very few world leaders have the place in history that Winston Churchill does and had the impact
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.
While those words remain in our mind, we're still in control of them.
But once they come out, they own us for good or bad.
And it's something worthy of our consideration as caregivers.
We live with enormous amounts of stress.
And on any given day, at any given time, we could be rather brittle.
Surely I'm not the only one.
I mean, raise a hand.
How many of you all get brittle at times?
So it's easy to pop off and say things we really wish we hadn't have said.
Now let's go deeper because as great as Churchill is, there's one greater.
Matthew 12, 36, he said, I tell you, on the day of judgment, people will give account for every careless word they speak.
That's the words of Jesus.
And all throughout the scriptures, you'll see Proverbs 10, 19, when words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
When words are many,
I think one translation says instead of transgression is not lacking, it says when words are many, sin abounds.
But you get the point.
Proverbs 13.3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life.
He who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
James 1.26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.
These are strong words, and these are not the only ones in Scripture that talk about letting your mouth run off, popping off and saying things that you wish you hadn't.
One stark and very tragic story is in the book of Judges, chapter 11, and there's this guy named Jephthah, who's a mighty warrior.
And if you look at Judges 11, verse 30, And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, If you give the Ammonites into my hand, he's chasing down the Ammonites, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return and triumph from the Ammonites will be the Lord's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.
And he laid waste to the Ammonites.
I mean, he really did an amazing job, and he's pretty excited about it.
He comes home.
Who should come out to meet him but his daughter?
and when he saw her verse 35 he tore his clothes and cried oh no my daughter you have brought me down and I am devastated I have made a vow to the Lord that I cannot break and evidently he did not
Offer Her as a Burnt Offering, but he sacrificed to the Lord that she would never marry.
This was his only child, and she never married.
And it was a devastating moment.
He had spoken rashly.
Scripture warns us of this, of speaking rashly.
I got to tell you, my fellow caregivers, we are under an enormous amount of strain daily.
There's too many things competing for shelf space in our brain and our mouth just serves as a pressure valve to let some of that out and we say things that we really, really should not say.
I am chief among those who do that and I have to make amends on a regular basis, Gracie will tell you, and I cringe over all of it.
I'd like to tell you I'm getting better.
Maybe a little bit.
I'm getting older.
Maybe a little wiser.
I don't know.
But the one thing I do know now is where the path is.
I am not a slave to ignorance on this.
I have scripture.
I have quotes from world leaders like Churchill.
I have a plethora, which means a lot, you know.
Sorry, that's an old joke.
I have so many resources now that I can lean on instead of my own understanding to guide me, to help me remind myself to put my hand over my mouth and not say things that I'll be a slave to.
Not Say Things That I'm Going to Regret.
I've never had to make amends for something I didn't say, but I've sure had to make amends for things I did say.
And so I love this quote from Churchill.
I thought it was a good way to start the program out.
We are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out.
As a caregiver, I am learning to put my hand over my mouth a little bit more.
I've got a long ways to go.
But I know the path and that is hope for the caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
We'll be right back.
Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver.
This is Peter Rosenberger.
This is the program for you as a family caregiver.
Hopeforthecaregiver.com.